August 31st, 2007

Any Last Words?

Any last words for a guy getting married in a week? :)

21 Responses to “Any Last Words?”

  1. Silus Grok
    August 31, 2007 at 10:39 am #

    Congratulations…

    And I hope you read the manual.

    : )

  2. John
    August 31, 2007 at 11:20 am #

    Last?

    Shoot. Life *began* when I got married. I don’t understand how single folks do it anymore.

    My only advice would be this: don’t get too wrapped up in the ceremonial stuff – have a good time with your new wife. I think we spent way too much time at receptions or taking pictures when we coulda been walking the beach. Balance what she wants with what you do, but man: if I was king of the world, we woulda left for the honeymoon twenty minutes after the ordinance. :)

    Congrats man and have fun.

  3. Mark Mathson
    August 31, 2007 at 11:25 am #

    Nothing to be afraid of, from here on out its smooth sailing. Just enjoy your time together. Keep the “courting period” alive and well.

  4. JM Bell
    August 31, 2007 at 11:45 am #

    Couple of things:

    Don’t take anything too seriously (unless she tells you to).

    Get at least a 70lb Heavy Bag and both of you beat the crap out of it at least 15 minutes a day. Seriously.

    Get out of the house together no matter how well you’re doing on HALO3.

    When you do get out, don’t go to the movies every time. Go somewhere you can talk, even if you don’t want to.

    Go to the symphony twice a year.

    Do the dishes at least half of the time.

    Boxers and socks in the HAMPER!

    Best of luck and congratulations.

  5. JM Bell
    August 31, 2007 at 11:47 am #

    Oh, and, when she says: “You’re an idiot,” that’s code for “I’m about to stab you in the face,” so be careful. Very careful.

  6. Dan
    August 31, 2007 at 12:45 pm #

    Connor,

    As a happily married man, my best advice is the words of President Hinckley who said:

    There are some men who, in a spirit of arrogance, think they are superior to women. They do not seem to realize that they would not exist but for the mother who gave them birth. When they assert their superiority they demean her. It has been said, “Man can not degrade woman without himself falling into degradation; he can not elevate her without at the same time elevating himself” (Alexander Walker, in Elbert Hubbard’s Scrap Book [1923], 204).

    How very true that is. We see the bitter fruit of that degradation all about us. Divorce is one of its results. This evil runs rampant through our society. It is the outcome of disrespect for one’s marriage partner. It manifests itself in neglect, in criticism, in abuse, in abandonment. We in the Church are not immune from it.

    Jesus declared, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6).

    The word man is used in the generic sense, but the fact is that it is predominantly men who bring about the conditions that lead to divorce.

    After dealing with hundreds of divorce situations through the years, I am satisfied that the application of a single practice would do more than all else to solve this grievous problem.

    If every husband and every wife would constantly do whatever might be possible to ensure the comfort and happiness of his or her companion, there would be very little, if any, divorce. Argument would never be heard. Accusations would never be leveled. Angry explosions would not occur. Rather, love and concern would replace abuse and meanness.

    Do everything in your power to never abuse your wife’s trust. Let her trust you fully and completely. Make sure your priorities in life are set properly.

    And most importantly of all, have fun with her. Enjoy your time together. Talk. All those small and simple things that bring about great things to pass.

  7. RoAnn
    August 31, 2007 at 1:02 pm #

    Congratulations! Eternal marriage is worth all the love and care you choose to give it.

    Two suggestions about dealing with the challenges of the wedding day, from someone who has watched three of her children get married in the temple.

    1) Re the reception, photos, and all the trappings that surround the really important part of the day–the sealing in the temple. Like John, you may wish you could just be alone with your wife after the ceremony. But your bride may have been fantasizing about some of those “trappings” for years; and they may also be very important to her family and/or yours. The beginning of your eternal relationship with your wife is worthy of celebration by all those who love you, and your parents and other relatives are probably thrilled to participate in whatever way they can. Your patience and unfailingly cheerful attitude during such a joyous and yet stressful time is an unselfish act that everyone will appreciate. And it will definitely get you in the good graces of your in-laws.

    2) Keep a sense of humor. Something almost always goes awry on the day, either in public or in private. If you and your bride can keep in mind that a few years from now you will laugh uproariously about it, you can decide to laugh while it’s happening. Example: At our son’s reception in a cultural hall, a child-in-arms set off the fire alarm. Strobe lights started flashing, and a strident, very loud voice repeatedly announced that everyone needed to evacuate the building immediately! Those of us in the reception line had to shout our greetings to be heard above the din, and it took more than five minutes to get the alarm shut off. :) It certainly broke the mood for a while, but we took it in stride, and all was well.

    May this be the glorious beginning of the best and greatest adventure of your life!

  8. danithew
    August 31, 2007 at 1:14 pm #

    She’s always right.

    When you forget that, she’ll remind you.

  9. Chris
    August 31, 2007 at 3:26 pm #

    I’ve been married for 11 years and its the best! Have fun, laugh a lot, and snuggle.

  10. Janet
    August 31, 2007 at 6:04 pm #

    Congratulations!

    One of Elder Faust’s neighbors had a backyard gathering. The neighbor wanted to seat Elder Faust facing the garden but he refused. He stated that as long as he could see his beloved Ruth, he had the best view in the house. Everyone who knew him knew that he and his wife had a wonderful love affair going. They report that he was always a gentleman towards her and his friends nicknamed him “gentleman Jim.”

    Find good husbands and emulate them.

  11. Travis
    August 31, 2007 at 6:32 pm #

    Many will be willing to offer advice. Remember the best advice you will ever get is the advice that you ask for.

    Congratulations.

    Remember the marriage is the beginning of loving someone, not the end.

  12. Russell
    September 1, 2007 at 9:57 am #

    I was with a groups of friends once and one asked Elder L. Tom Perry what to look for in a spouse. He said to marry a person with a happy disposition.

    I’ve thought a lot about his counsel since then, and I’ve found it has endless applications for marriage . . . “happy disposition.”

  13. Michelle
    September 4, 2007 at 12:46 am #

    Advice for the big day: I’m gonna put in a pitch for enjoying the pictures. As much as the ceremony really is the center of the day, having pictures to savor for years to come really is a treasure, and a legacy. I’d also recommend taking a few moments to write what the sealer said, to write your feelings about the ceremony and about the day, and about each other. There may be days you will benefit from going back to the beginning to reflect on the spirit of it all.

    And we LOVED the entire day…we were surrounded by love and loving people and it really was a wonderful celebration that I am glad we had. I don’t regret that at all, and neither does my hubby.

    My general life advice (because I wish someone had helped me get this sooner) is to remember that everything in life is a process. I think it’s easy to come into marriage with expectations of what different aspects of your life will be like, but what marriage is really is a creation process — the creation of a relationship and a family that until your wedding day did not exist. One of my wisest friends says, ‘Things Take Time.” He talks of charting success and growth in marriage in decades. That is not meant to be discouraging, but just to give some perspective. My husband and I are celebrating a decade and it’s really amazing to see how much we have learned and grown together! Can’t wait for the next decades!

    It’s actually exciting…you are creating a family, beginning with a relationship that is uniquely yours. Don’t play the ‘well in my family we did this” game — figure out together, as equal partners working with God, what your family will do and be, what your family culture, traditions, etc. will be. Communicate often, because you might be surprised about assumptions you bring into the relationship that you aren’t even aware of — or assumptions you make about the relationship that are based on a false reality.

    Last thing…always, always involve the Lord in your relationship. Pray daily together. Talk often of the gospel. Feel the Spirit together and He can keep your hearts bound as one. If you get angry, turn to the Lord first and you will reduce the power the adversary can have. It’s amazing how quickly the adversary can take over when anger takes over!

    No, one more thing. Have FUN. Laugh often, love much. Savor the blessing of being together and don’t ever stop courting, as someone said.

    Best wishes to you both! :)

  14. Michelle
    September 4, 2007 at 12:47 am #

    Ugh. Way too longwinded. Sorry.

  15. Michael L. McKee
    September 4, 2007 at 10:56 am #

    Connor:

    Your eternal union will, while upon this earthly sphere anyway, be progressive providing you and your companion always remember to make the “last word” you.

  16. Eric Nielson
    September 5, 2007 at 3:20 pm #

    Congratulations man.

    If there is any selfishness in you, try to get rid of it.

    Realize that your life will never be the same, don’t expect it to be.

    I have seen several pictures of her. With all due respect, you are a lucky guy. Don’t ever forget it.

    Be united in to big decisions.

    Don’t sweat the small stuff.

    All right, enough already.

  17. Yin
    September 5, 2007 at 11:46 pm #

    Good luck!!!

  18. Carissa
    September 6, 2007 at 7:18 am #

    I second this advice from RoAnn:

    “Your patience and unfailingly cheerful attitude during such a joyous and yet stressful time is an unselfish act that everyone will appreciate.”

    I have never forgotten this; how my husband puts up with things I know he doesn’t really want to do but are important to me at the time (like so all those pictures, the reception, etc). The fact that he did it cheerfully and not grudgingly made a huge difference to me. He still does this (it has rubbed off on me too) and we love each other more for it. It shows so much respect.

    Congratulations!

  19. Bishop Rick
    September 6, 2007 at 8:41 am #

    Dont ever go to bed angry with one another.

  20. Ana&Geof
    September 6, 2007 at 10:46 am #

    As a family unit, husband and wife, your primary obligation is to trust the Lord in all you do. Regardless of anyone else’s advice, His is the one that matters most. Continue to build your relationship with Him and you’ll be blessed together.

    Sure parents, family and friends will give you ways of doing things that worked for them, but they might not work for the two of you. Trust the Lord and be happy in every season of your marriage and then it will be forever through you hard work and faithfulness.

    Someone once recounted to us that love is like a river and flows through….and can’t remember the rest. But we venture to say that indeed at the beginning your marriage is a trickling spring bubbling and trying to find its own way. There is much potential to become a great river leading others to the vast oceans or lakes. Together winding down and around boulders and through mountains and over pebbles and connecting with other rivers and streams you’ll go. In spots the waters will be minimal and other times so deep you’d not be able to see the bottom, but trust the Lord.

    Just remember that your river together must flow to the Living Waters of Jesus Christ and together you’ll be challenged, but continue on enduring the adventures that lie ahead of you two.

    Know that you’ll both be strengthened and prepared to meet everything in your marriage including the joys, beauties, and hectic times and eventually be lead into His Kingdom by continuing in faithfulness, forgiving of one another and constant kindness toward each other. Best of luck on your journeys together!

  21. Dustin
    September 6, 2007 at 4:20 pm #

    Fight naked!

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