July 3rd, 2006

Being the nice guy

In a recent conversation w/ a friend, she told me that the reason she accepted my request to go on a date was because she thought I was a “nice guy”. And here I thought it was due to my more redeeming qualities, such as my witty humor, dashingly good looks, chivalrous respect for ladykind, and infectious personality. Guess not.

“Nice guys finish last…”
—Green Day

Is this true? Does this hold any water? In a recent conversation w/ a friend, she told me that the reason she accepted my request to go on a date was because she thought I was a “nice guy”. And here I thought it was due to my more redeeming qualities, such as my witty humor, dashingly good looks, chivalrous respect for ladykind, and infectious personality. Guess not. :)

So does this connote anything? Is saying “you’re a nice guy” in fact a disarming method in disguise, used by women to indicate “look buddy, I don’t want to go out with you, but to be kind and not hurt your feelings, I’m going to wrap up the rejection in a warm, fuzzy blanket, and just tell you that you’re ‘nice'”?

Or is it the fear of telling the truth that causes girls to use something as neutral and safe as saying that the guy is “nice”? Perhaps she does think the guy is handsome, humorous, kind and fun, but if she told him that she acknowledged these characteristics, the guy would read too much into it and hope for a serious relationship, which is what the girl doesn’t want?

I don’t pretend to have the answer. After all, I’m still single and am far from understanding the complex labyrinth that is the female mind.

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