Perhaps this puts me in the half that “looks the other way,” but I think you need to check your statistics on the divorce rate. The number has never been near 50%, as the link you provide indicates. Do an Internet search for “The Real Divorce Rate” and you will learn what the real statistics are.

Your bring up some interesting thoughts. I read a few of your posts. I heard this morning on the radio that 70% of divorces are now initiated by women. Just thought I would put that out there and see what you thought. Thanks

Two thoughts, one on divorce, and one on public cases such as (ex)Governor Spitzer’s.

On divorce you say “In most cases, a divorce is the result of one party reneging on his/her promise, thereby leading the other to take action and seek divorce.” I think that misrepresents the true nature of the problem. I could cite multiple examples based on my own experience where divorce is initiated and even aggressively pursued by the party who has done the most to break their marital vows. This, coupled with the acceptance of no-fault divorce, illustrates that the dangers of our high divorce rate are not merely the breaking of promises, but the growing attitude that promises are made to be broken. Once upon a time (yes, it was like a fairy tale then) a man could usually be taken at his word. Now we have a society that builds escape clauses into virtually all contracts on the assumption that an escape may be necessary.

As for high-profile incidents like the Spitzer case, the actual breaking of promises is not the only trap here - even the allegation of having broken such personal promises can render a person ineffective in keeping the promises they have made to constituents thus it is only practical that they must hold themselves to a higher standard than might otherwise be expected.

Wow, Connor, I thought that you of all people would look deeper than the first link that I provided. But, I guess I gave you too much credit.

I didn’t direct you to anything more than a search term because I wanted you to read more than just a few articles I pointed you to. When you read an article on divorce especially, you need always keep the hidden agenda of the writer in mind.

Your point still stands, an I am not arguing with it. I just simply hate when myths (especially about marriage) are perpetuated.

1-The high divorce rate leads me to believe that either marital problems are becoming worse, OR that people are giving up on tough situations more quickly. If it is the latter, that worries me.

2- I understand the idea that sex between two consenting adults is their business. In fact there are groups that argue prostitution should be legal. But it isn’t. It doesn’t matter whether Mr. Ex New York Governor and his hooker are adults. It is illegal. If you break the law, you often can lose your job. I think that goes double for elected officials.

(BTW: I noticed you are reading Presidents and Prophets–great book!)

Connor,

Marriage is a serious contract that when broken has many social and economic consequences for families and for communities. That’s why the job interview called “dating” is so important. I wrote a post on this a while back. http://janetwalgren.wordpress.com/2007/04/08/the-job-interview/

It amazes me that so many young wives are totally lacking in any homemaking skills. Their homes are slovenly, chaotic, filthy, disorganized…they don’t know how to budget or parent; they are totally clueless. Many young men are equally bad. They are addicted to sports, the Internet and the television. They don’t know how to budget, support a family, take out the trash or fix anything. In this environment, is it any wonder that the grass on the uncommitted side of the fence always looks greener?

I disagree that consensual sex is ever OK when participated in by adults who have not made a contractual commitment. This behavior also comes with serious social and economic consequences for the consenting individuals, their families, and the communities that condone and eventually end up paying for the consequences of this behavior.

Marriage, like any other contract has a purpose. It would be unwise, imprudent and just downright stupid to allow someone to purchase on credit, lease, or even use your car without a contractual agreement. You can’t even legally use your own car without insurance to protect the rest of civilization while you’re on the road. Why then would it be considered wise, or even OK to allow someone to use your body without a commitment? If you knew how much it costs you to be so open minded, you would be singing a different tune. The marriage contract is civilization’s insurance policy.

The high rate of divorce is nothing new, however, it is a sign of a much larger problem. The culture in the US today largely lacks respect, honesty, and responsibility. Everywhere you go people break contracts and on the surface society says it is ok to do so, thats why we have lawyers. Communities are no longer “communities” but a group of houses where people live. TV, video games, computers, internet, and expectation of instant gratification are partly to blame. Lack of parenting and relationship skills are really the problem. Most parents today were never taught these important life skills hence the extra problems. (Started in the 60’s, went really bad in the 80’s. Today they just use parenting examples from the Simpson’s and South Park).

If you study the divorce cycles you’ll find the 35-50% remains the same over the years, I suspect it will lower in the next 10 years. What changes is people stop getting married, they “live” together rather than risk the marriage statistic. They have children etc. without the marriage commitment. Interestingly these relationships tend to do better. They stay together because they want to rather than they have to in order to fulfill the contract.

Matt. 19: 6
6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

To me, this is a key aspect to the problem we have. We think that we can put asunder what God hath joined together.

Questions: Whose marriages do we believe God has joined? Is putting asunder a marriage an offense now towards God? Are some divorces blessed by God? What is the consequence that God has in store for those who initiate a divorce which does not have his blessing? Is a man or woman truly committing adultery he or she is with someone who has been divorced? Will we ever be required to live this higher law in this dispensation?

In answer to chips questions,

I believe that God NEVER ever wants us to break our covenants & abandon our spouse, no matter what they do. Though a rare Divorce may be needed for legal protection & safety, that does not mean we should break our covenants to remain faithful to & love our spouse. The main purpose of marriage is to save our spouse if they get off the path & become unrighteous. That is the power of marriage & True Love, (Charity). But few want that responsibility anymore & instead they put their own needs, well-being & happiness 1st & destroy their spouse & children’s hearts & lives for their selfish whims. They trade their greatest blessings & power for a mess of pottage.

God has been very clear on the severe consequences of breaking marriage vows. It is one of the greatest sins a person can commit. It is often worse than murder. The breaking of marriage vows brings a death sentence upon those who do so & the societies that tolerate it. Thus the Proclamation warns of impending destruction because of divorce.

The Prophets have said that most divorces are Adultery today, as much as it ever was, even though most consequences may not usually be enforced till later. One wise patriarch who understands these things, said that for a divorcee to even put their name on one of those ’single’ web sites & date is Adultery, let alone remarry & commit further abuse & adultery on a former spouse & children. Dating & remarriage is severe abuse to the children already born, which just multiplies a divorcee’s transgressions.

Christ’s higher law is in effect now & has been since he declared it, though the consequences aren’t always or usually applied these days because most divorcees feel they haven’t sinned or are justified & so they don’t confess their guilt, for they have hardened their hearts to even be able to feel or see their guilt anymore. Often leaders just believe their proclaimed innocence without really searching to know the truth, so most get away with it for the time being. But the Prophets have said that if people were truly keeping their marriage covenants they would NEVER abandon their spouses, no matter what.

No righteous person would ever break their marriage covenants, even if their spouse does, they would remain faithful & keep the marriage in tact even through abuse, adultery, addictions, apostacy or even abandonment. They would protect themselves as needed but save the marriage & eventually their spouse. It only takes ONE spouse to save a marriage.

‘True Love’ always wins & never gives up, but endureth forever, no matter what. It is the most powerful thing in the world.

The Prophet plead with us to ‘NEVER’ give up on our spouse.

Amore, I admire your beliefs and your commitment to God and to your spouse. I agree that abuse, adultery, addictions and apostasy are not excuses to justify a divorce. The only way that a person would avoid committing adultery is if their spouse committed it first i.e. “saving for the cause of fornication.”
Still, I believe that true love or charity can be learned in the midst of these trials that are imposed on one spouse by another.
Chip