Amen.
Nice post.
Another scripture that fits this topic can be found in Proverbs 15:1:
A soft answer turneth away wrath, but greivous words stir up anger.
My rule of thumb is this: If I can feel the spirit in writing a post or response, then I proceed. If I feel negatively passionate towards the author, I refrain from responding. Even if my view on a particular topic may be more accurate (and that is always up for debate), I will only contribute to contention if I feel anything but Christlike love towards the person with which I am communicating. I think the key is how I regard the person, not the actual words I am using. When I have unconditional positive regard towards somebody, my actions towards them could take one of many different forms, and still carry the spirit. If I feel contempt for somebody, that will come through regardless of what pretty words I might use.
And it is true that people’s words reflect more about themselves than anything else. If Bob tells me that Jane is a “pain in the neck” I still know nothing about Jane (I’ve not met her). But I do know a little something about Bob!

Connor,

Nobody was backbiting you, we were telling you to your face (OK, your e-face) that we do not agree with you. And, when you resort to personal attacks, you were generally treated with the same back. You held up yourself as “orthodox” and condemned the heterodox. Not cool. If I held myself up as orthodox and contrasted myself with you, how cool do you think that would be? Uncool. It makes no difference who is doing it. Hence the advice to not pick at motes in other peoples eyes.

Have a nice life.

Why? Why do some tear others down and ridicule? Why do some mock and blaspheme? Why do others criticize and gossip? What is it about human nature that encourages such behavior?

The Impulse to criticise, belittle, and oughtright persecute others, is one I am sure we are all personally familiar with. As to why we do so, there are a few reasons I can think of. Pride and Narcissism are two. Another is falling into the trap of blaming others for problems that belong to us.

I have noticed that when people are harsh and critical, often the person they are hardest upon (by far) is themselves. In other words, we believe that we can never be forgiven for our mistakes, so why should we tolerate the imperfections of others? Unless we are truly narcissists, it may be difficult to have an inflated ego, without also having an inflated sense of our own guilt.

In the case of gossip, the reason is simple: petty backyard politics. We believe that by strategically stlinging mud at others, we can make ourselves look better, elevate our own social status, and possibly make money…. (Jerry Springer, for example)

In the Parable of the Indebted Servant, Jesus teaches that in persecuting and refusing to forgive others, we ourselves will fall under far greater condemnation. Needless to say, forgiving and refusing to speak ill of others is an essential and integral part of repentance. Once we realize that God loves and values each and every one of us infinitely, the mistakes and imperfections of others become a cause for sorrow, love, and compassion; not for anger and frustration.

Criticism, gossip and downright evil speech seem especially epidemic in the online community. I believe one of the reasons for this is the relative annonymity and lack of accountability to be found here. Perhaps we feel that without an honest reputation to protect, we are free to let loose all the anger, frustration, and darkness inside of us, as if no one will ever hold up the mirror of accountability. (This recalls the psychological concept of the “Shadow”, of Carl Jung)

On my part, I’d like to apologize to anybody I may have offended in the past in a blog post, letter, email, in person, or any other interaction………I’m sure there have been plenty of instances where I fell short of that expectation I have of myself, so if I’ve offended or spoken ill of any of you, I humbly apologize……….I truly hope that we can all strive to use our words as weapons for good.

Words well written. In liew of more typing, I think I will substitute these for my own……-J.W.

Nothing to do with it? OK, Connor, then what it is all about? And if not, then when are you going to admit your misreading of the whole orthodoxy thing is totally contrary to the Scriptural approach?

And where did I take offense? Nowhere. Oh, and thanks for accusing me of being imprudent. Very much appreciated.

It is entertaining to me that in a post where you are allegedly apologizing profusely for being offensive and obnoxious, and telling your readers you are going to try to do better at being nice and charitable, you go and make silly accusations.

Oh, yeah, I always find weak apologies masquerading as an excuse to attack others and call them to repentance to be real entertainment. I mean, really, that is what you are doing here, right? Calling your detractors to repentance?

So, this is about SnarkerNacle and Trash Calls, then, right? You dont like the fact that they are making fun of your self-styled brand of evangelism?

Oh, you can accuse me of imprudence, and that isnt a “case in point”? Why do your rules of conduct only apply to others?

[…] While honesty is the rule, civil discourse is too. […]

The quote from David O. McKay comes to mind as I read your blog…”Words do not convey meanings; they call them forth. I speak out of the context of my experience and you listen out of the context of yours and that is why communication is difficult.” Thank you for the great insight!